What do you say when someone’s passed away? What words of comfort can you extend to those left behind? There’s no set script to follow. However, what I can tell you is this; talk about the person that’s passed away. Tell funny stories, and talk about the laughter, the good memories. The times that that person made a difference in your life. Something you took away from a conversation with them.
The most painful thing that happens after someone passes away is it seems as though that person just disappears, they had no bearing in this world, and any good, anything lasting no longer exists, no longer matters. And they did matter. If for a moment, they mattered. And it is so very painful when people, because they don’t know what to say, say nothing at all.
The reason I bring this up is one of my mom’s friends from high school recently passed away. This woman lost her eldest daughter at the age of 18 due to an eating disorder. I attended high school with her daughter, she was absolutely lovely, and she won many modeling contests. But even she beat herself up, wouldn’t eat, would binge, and take laxatives. She hurt herself so badly, and all for weight. For looks. For things that are so fleeting. And the first thought I had when I heard that my mom’s friend passed away was she’s with her eldest baby now, her daughter is loving on her. That’s what I chose to see in my mind’s eye. My mom and dad lost three children during their marriage. And that was the second thing I’d thought of, when I started to change my thought process concerning my mom’s passing. The first was she’s running! She’s leaping! She’s in a “body” like none that she had available to her here on earth. Because she was wheelchair bound. So she’s running with her babies, and she’s laughing.
When someone passes away don’t turn away, feel the emotion, face it head on. Laugh with the one it affects most. Share a remembered story. Talk about that person. No one talks about my mom. She existed, and she mattered.
The most painful thing that happens after someone passes away is it seems as though that person just disappears, they had no bearing in this world, and any good, anything lasting no longer exists, no longer matters. And they did matter. If for a moment, they mattered. And it is so very painful when people, because they don’t know what to say, say nothing at all.
The reason I bring this up is one of my mom’s friends from high school recently passed away. This woman lost her eldest daughter at the age of 18 due to an eating disorder. I attended high school with her daughter, she was absolutely lovely, and she won many modeling contests. But even she beat herself up, wouldn’t eat, would binge, and take laxatives. She hurt herself so badly, and all for weight. For looks. For things that are so fleeting. And the first thought I had when I heard that my mom’s friend passed away was she’s with her eldest baby now, her daughter is loving on her. That’s what I chose to see in my mind’s eye. My mom and dad lost three children during their marriage. And that was the second thing I’d thought of, when I started to change my thought process concerning my mom’s passing. The first was she’s running! She’s leaping! She’s in a “body” like none that she had available to her here on earth. Because she was wheelchair bound. So she’s running with her babies, and she’s laughing.
When someone passes away don’t turn away, feel the emotion, face it head on. Laugh with the one it affects most. Share a remembered story. Talk about that person. No one talks about my mom. She existed, and she mattered.
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