Summer!

Summer.

What a time. Wonderful is something we hope for. And wonderful is what this summer has been for the boys, Mike, and I.

The boys and I have spent nearly every day at the Home Owners Association Pool, HOA for those, like me, that are new to this sort of life. It’s supposed to be a group of people that want the same things out of life. And, I find that is true, yet, what does happen more often than not, is we as human beings become self centered and think only of, and worry only for, our own. And that is understandable, really, when you think about it, when you take a good look at what you do, who you are, what you think of, it is usually your own, your family.

What I am trying to change is thinking more about my own family. I was raised that one was to think of others first, then themselves. Here is an example; there was a big to-do about the pool opening at noon on Sundays. You would have thought that someone had dropped a dooky in the pool for all the noise being made about it. People, which I know if I sat with them would be the loveliest people around, were bringing religion into it, stating not everyone does this, not everyone does that. My statement was simple. America has become too politically correct. Rules are set in place for a reason. Some would argue to be broken. But aren’t they broken enough? Don’t we pay a huge price for the broken rules? When does accountability and transparency come back into play? We’ve all become entirely too politically correct. Some things are not OK, and yet we say if it doesn’t affect us, our home, our family, how is it hurting anyone? But it does hurt, doesn’t it? When rules are broken, people, our family, gets hurt.

So, this summer has been FA-BU-LOUS!!! :) I am the mom that I wanted my mom to be. I am there, always. I am on the sidelines in case my boys need me. My mom was uncomfortable in her own skin, as I am also quite aware of my own discomfort, but I’ll be damned if that holds me back from being with my boys every step of the way, no matter the pain of it. My husband and I chose and planned our boys’ births and prayed that they’d be happy, whole, and fulfilled. More fulfilled than we were.

When I was a young woman, I paid rent to parents, and I was told at the age 10 this would occur, so it was not a shock to me. Prior to my graduation from high school, because I turned 18 in February and graduated in June, I started to pay rent while still in school. ($150 a month while in school, $400 while out and attending Harper College) A portion of it would be placed off to the side for me as a down payment to a house, whatever I chose that money to go towards. When I moved out, met and married my husband a year and a half later, there was no money. I wasn’t surprised, not really. I was disappointed, sure. But not surprised. I don’t want to let my kids down that way. To outright lie to them and use their money for anything other than what I say I will use it for. Now, here’s the other side of that same coin; because of that I am the responsible woman you know and love today because of that lesson. What can seem horrible on the surface may very well be the one thing that saves your ass at the end of the day. And, in my case, it is how I am used to living, which is something I am learning I can change. I want to change. My husband and I deserve better out of this life. We simply must chose different, to focus on our family and ourselves for a change, and not worry so much about everyone else. Everything else will fall into place...

I’m off to get my boys at VBS, then swimming, of course! I thank you for taking this journey in life with me. I’d love to hear about your journey too.

God Blessings on your day!

Angeline