This was a bible study on Hebrews. I am on the far right. I was immensely embarrassed because nearly everyone had to pull that dress on me. I was sweating profusely. And I was uncomfortable sitting in the back trying to be comfortable listening the reading of the book (the entire book) of Hebrews. I did hide the rest of the bible study at home, and a the YMCA because there's no explaining how uncomfortable you are to friends that may or may not understand the amount of pain you're in, both physically and emotionally.
My weight loss journey has taken me down the road of gastric bypass sleeve surgery. What that is is the removal of appoximately eighty percent of your stomach. Yes, it does seem shocking. And, no doubt, it is.
However, here's my story, the short version: I have fought weight issues since I was the age of four. I was raised by a woman who wanted something different out of life. She did the best that she could with what she had at her disposal, but the upbringing my brother and I had was fraught with landmines. Most people can relate, because it isn't are you dysfunctional...? It is how dysfuctional are you...? Mom passed a dozen years ago from morbid obesity, I saw my life headed in the same direction. I had tried every diet, and no, that is no joke. I knew that I didn't want my children holding their first born in their arms and putting me into the grave within three months of each tremendous life event. Hence, this life changing step.
The process is, at least for my insurance, six months of supervised diet with my Doctor hand in hand with telephone calls from the insurance company's nutritionist to make serious changes to diet and exercise. The second part was something my husband and I found out about after I'd already been seeing my Doctor for four months, so I had to start over. That was late July of 2012. I was frustated for a short while. But thought this would afford me more time to get used to the idea of surgery to lose weight. Because believe you me, I avoided this option forever and a day - surgery to lose weight was not a way I wanted to lose weight.
Come to the end of my supervised telephone visits and Doctor visits, YAY! I was approved the end of March.... however..... I had to wait for a bit because of an upgrade at my husband's place of employment. Sigh. Yes, I slumped my shoulders for a bit.... but you cannot keep a good girl down. And you can't keep a good girl down that's been through as much as I have been through! I had to keep my perspective clear to keep the goal in sight.
At mid June I was given the green light by my husband.... I ran to the phone! July 11th! It seemed so far off.... but here I am, July 22nd. And, the day the little monarch has been born in London :-)
Now, I will tell you, I've had some set backs. I have had six major surgeries in my life, and two not so serious. I know all kinds of pain, and I know when something's wrong. And there was something wrong. I cannot sleep. I was having a very hard time eating anything. I can eat up to 1/2 cup of food six times a day... I was and am still getting about a cup of food a day. I am working hard to take in more food, primarily protein. But the amount of naseau is really difficult to work around. And then my largest incision, the one that my stomach was removed through, opened up and seeped. And seeped. And seeped. Then it began to itch. This was on Saturday evening, today is Monday. Thank goodness my Doctor's office has clinic hours on Sunday.
The Doctor on duty, thank goodness, knows me well. My boys and I had ear infections at the end of May and beginning of June, this same Doctor is the one I saw six times in those visits. It took quite some time to figure out what to do. I cannot take pills until August eighth when I am cleared completely. My stomach, what is left of it, is still on the mend. I cannot take pills, so an oral medication had to be found that was alright, and also one that didn't include Pencilin because I'm deathly allergic. Also, I was intense pain, but my strong painkiller was out - to which I wanted to find a nice compromise in Ibuprophen or Tylenol.... again - no pills. She was excited and frustrated. She stated this was an educational curve for her because more and more people are coming forward having had gastric bypass, gastric sleeve, and the band surgeries - she wanted to know how to help, but she had to find the right combination. It was decided a suppository (I know, ew!) was the best route to go. Alongside an antibiotic.
As of today we made another trek back to the hospital, to which I received quite a lot of hugs. My incision was cleaned, bandaged, taught how to bandage it, my husband was taught how to bandage it, I was bound snuggly, oh my, it feels so good! The pain was cut in half with just that! I was told, rest, rest, and rest some more. Off of my feet, let the incision close and heal. Probably the entire week, she said, but better to make sure I heal completely and correctly than to have the infection get worse.
So far I have lost 23 pounds, that's in eleven days. We'll see what the future holds. The math behind it is fifty to sixty percent weight loss in the first year. All weight loss within two years of surgery.
I will be keeping a journal and measurements in the physical world, then keeping this blog as I go.
Weight loss surgery has a stygma attached to it. I know it does because I believed that I could do it on my own, and I often thought if someone could lose thirty pounds prior to surgery, why couldn't they lose the entire sum on their own? And yet, here I am, one of the crowd, a part of a new family of people that are so strong, so passionate, so full of life that they are willing to undergo the knife to change their life story. I pray that my life story will change.
What do I want the outcome to be? I want to run with my boys. I want to do an exercise class with my co-workers without sounding like an obscene phone caller. I want to sit behind the wheel of my van and have my stomach not hit the steering wheel. I want to walk without limping because my heels hurt. I want to walk any distance and breath normally. I want to slide down the slide at the YMCA because my son has asked me to, and not worry that the fire department has to be called. I want someone to look at me not because of my weight but because of my smile, my personality, my attitude. I want to be here for my grandbabies, and I want to be a hot wife. I want so much that it makes me want to cry because now the only regret I have is that I didn't do this sooner.
Here's to the future :D
