Romans 10:9-10 “…because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”
Which brings me to my previous blog concerning what happened with my mom’s voice mail message, I’d inadvertently caused my cousin to tell me that I was wrong about how I felt when my mom’s voice mail was erased. Here’s the thing for anyone reading a blog, to tell the writer they’re wrong about their feelings is the very definition of wrong. It was what I felt when my mother’s voice mail was erased. It happened, it is over, as I’d also stated, when I hear my voice in a voice mail to my husband, I hear my mom, because we had the same voice. And, in speaking with my father after the fact about my blog, and what had occurred, he only verified that fact, because sometimes it is hard for my dad to talk to me, he also hears my mom’s voice. The lovely thing about me is anger leaves me almost as quickly as it occurs, forgiveness is golden, and I love to receive it as much as I like to give it. It was over – it was done. And I refuse to walk down the path of anger with this person. The voice mail not only helped me while we had it, it gave my father solace to call and “talk” to my mom because they’d known one another their entire lives – my mother was my dad’s friend, lover, wife, mother of his children, his barometer to read a situation, she was my dad’s everything -they’d been married 41 years, after having known one another from the time she was 12 and he was 17, and they’d married on my mom’s sixteenth birthday. To write to me and say how wrong I was for my feelings just solidifies how selfish and narrow minded we can become when we make it about ourselves and not what it was intended to be – about someone else. For once in her life it was about me, and it was a profound witness to recognize that losing something so important was alright, it was all OK. This person made it clear that I was right, and sometimes doing the right thing is not the popular thing. It is the same as not being liked by your children, sometimes your children will hate you, but one day they’ll get it, and that is when the wait will have been worth it. And the wait was worth it. I thank my cousin for doing this for me. Because I forgave her within hours of this happening, I’d written what was the point of broaching this topic with her, to what end? I’ll see my mom again, she’s with me, within me, I see her in my children, and I see her in me. She’s not dead; she’d been promoted and is waiting for her family to join her. Subject closed!
Isaiah 43:25-26 "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence."
When we moved, I’d decided that the boys would not have televisions or games in their rooms. They would have their toy chest, but nothing electronic. And when we got here after a ten hour drive from Chicago, we found that my husband had installed cable in not only the living room, but also in all three bedrooms upstairs. To say that I nearly decided to be lazy and let it go is an understatement! How I wanted to let this slide and say, 'ah what the heck, we’ll have quiet time now and again.' But that’s not the point. Being a mommy, I’ve figured out after some trial and error, it is not about me, it’s about them. And, I tell ya, there are days that I so wish I could just stomp my feet and say it’s about me, it’s about me!! Alas, after some procrastination, huffing and puffing, and then downright threatening we removed and returned the cable boxes in the two other bedrooms. It’s been nearly 2 solid months and the boys have been sleeping through the night, and even going so far as to get up at 6 am by themselves (YES! By themselves!) to get dressed, eat, and have themselves ready for school. Saturday mornings are a bit tougher, because Mike and I would love to sleep in, but what we try to do is say how lovely it is to have a full Saturday together as a family – please note I stated we try to say that! ;)
Hebrews 6 “Then you would never be lazy. You would be following the example of those who had faith and were patient until God kept his promise to them."
Who else has children that love zombies? What is it about zombies? Zombieland is one of my family’s favorite movies. And believe you me, I see the conflict with mentioning this alongside a blog that professes my love for Jesus Christ – yet there’s got to be another parent out there with this going on in their home! As of late, the last couple of weeks, I’ve cut the boys off of playstation, because Call Of Duty, or COD as it is called, has levels with zombies in it. We first tried a couple of times a week, but being children they not only argued with one another constantly, they abused the time given to them, whining when I asked that it be turned off. Now, we’re designating playstation for Saturdays, in one hour increments. This past Saturday the weather was unbelievably awesome - I could not justify their staying in doors to play playstation while we’d waited for this kind of weather. We have a rainbow swing set, as does nearly every neighbor on our block. I am happy to say that our boys were outside nearly all day using their swing set, and that they were the only children outdoors doing so! This, I know will be a constant negotiation. In raising our children, the one thing I wanted to change was to make them more accountable for their outcome – if they are not treated with respect, how will they show respect to others?
2 Kings 2:23-24 “From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”
I’m trying to clear the noise from my head, I’ve got some bible studying to do for a study tomorrow; A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. Wednesday’s I’m also in a bible study Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent by Beth Moore. There’s a request Beth makes that was difficult for me. She asks that we all, for the next six weeks, lie face down on the floor and say whatever comes to mind as we speak to God. She said to keep it simple, as she usually says to God, I love you, I adore you, thank you for loving me, please forgive me for my sins, and help me through my day. I realized, after doing this a few times, what my hang up was. I was lowering myself, placing my face to the ground. As girls, particularly in America, our mother’s demand that we stand tall, that we are not subordinate to anyone. We are not to accept the status quo, we were to wear the pants and make a name for ourselves. I like being a girl, and I particularly like being a girl that asks her husband for help. How dare I! I am setting the woman’s movement back by a century! But, I’m working on it, allowing myself to realize that Christ died for me, lowering my face to the ground is the very least I can do for Him, and His gift to me. I felt silly lying face down, hoping no one in our home would walk in on me. The only one that did, that first day, was our cat, Jazzman, she walked up and down my back. So, I not only honored my Lord, but I got a back rub to boot! Dennis did walk in on me Saturday morning and wondered what was going on, so I explained to him what I was doing, and asked that he give me a couple of minutes, once I was done, I’d call him back in. We chatted about it a bit, and that was that. If, and Lord, I pray that this if becomes a definite, if I am able to give my children the tools to honor God, to honor the gift that Jesus Christ gave to all of us, then I’d have done something so right.
2 Chronicles 7:3 “When all the Israelites saw the fire coming down and the glory of the Lord above the temple, they knelt on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave thanks to the Lord, saying, ‘He is good; His love endures forever.’“
I’ve been teased by friends, because my children and I talk about death, it is inevitable that one day they will bury mom and dad. We do laugh uproariously sometimes because Mike and I will then ask that they wait until we are dead! And yes, this is gruesome, and it is dark, but it needs to be spoken of, wishes, hopes, dreams, fears, they need to be aired. If children cannot discuss it with their parents, who can they discuss it with? I do not want my children to grieve beyond missing our voices; I do not want them to lose precious time wishing something had been different. I want them to live their lives to the fullest, to use this wondrous life as the adventure it was meant to be. Walking with Christ is but icing on the cake!
Psalm 30:5 "weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."
Read all of Psalm 30, it is a wonderful Psalm :)
God’s Blessings to everyone today that may read this. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Remember, boys, that most girls love the small gestures. Just remembering with a rose, a card, a nice dinner, that is more than enough, it is that we meant enough to you that means so very much. We will stand beside you forever if you remember to treat us with love; we will then respect the man that you are ♥
1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us."
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